NFL fans are used to seeing Tom Brady attend big events on Sunday nights. But after retiring two years ago, the seven-time Super Bowl champion no longer plays in prime time.
Previously, Brady was targeted by opposing defenders on Sunday night. However, in Netflix's live event “The Roast of Tom Brady, aka The Greatest Roast of All Time,” the quarterback was interviewed by Rob Gronkowski, host Kevin Hart, Julian Edelman, Bert Kreischer, and various other players including Tom He was attacked by former teammates and comedians. Segura, Randy Moss, Jeff Ross.
The show opened with a gag that soccer fans are probably more familiar with than pop culture fans. Bill Belichick appears on camera and tells someone, “The fans want you. Everyone wants you. But this is not your night. I'm sorry, Drew.”
We then see him talking to former New England Patriots quarterback Drew Bledsoe, who was Brady's predecessor before his injury. Then the man of the night enters the frame.
“Brady,” Belichick said. “I'm in. Let's go.”
“Are you kidding me?” Bledsoe groaned. “Also?”
That basically sets the tone for the night. Easy jokes and lots of bombshells.
As expected at celebrity gatherings, Brady and Gisele Bündchen's divorce was a frequent topic of conversation. Also, as expected, many of them are not suitable for documenting here.
The best part was when Heart opened. Ridiculing Brady for seemingly choosing a career as a football player over marriage, Hart said, “He had a chance to go 8-9 and the only thing he would sacrifice was his wife and kids.'' We have to do that.”
A joke about the NFL Draft, but not about Robert Kraft
You can't have a celebrity roast without Jeff Ross. The “Roastmaster General” has been insulting celebrities on TV for 20 years. Ross, who appeared on stage wearing a jersey with “Roast J. Simpson” written on the back, ended up teasing a key part of Tom Brady's legend.
“Tom ended up going No. 199 in the NFL draft,” Ross said. “He sat there for days, waiting, waiting, and when Bill Belichick's dog accidentally stepped on the keyboard, you finally got selected in the sixth round.”
But Ross may have crossed a line with Brady when he mentioned Patriots owner Robert Kraft and the massage parlor scandal he was involved in in 2019.
After making a joke, Brady said in Ross' ear, “Don't ever do that shit again.”
Drew Bledsoe's Revenge, Part 1
The fact that Bledsoe made football history by losing the starting quarterback job was the subject of much sarcasm. But Bledsoe criticized now-defunct NFL coach Belichick after joking that he hated Brady for taking his position.
“Who's more hateful than the most successful quarterback of all time? I mean, maybe not Belichick,” Bledsoe said. “There was a rumor that Coach Belichick was going to be here tonight. Apparently he has some time on his hands. You know, at least when I got fired, someone else wanted me.”
Drew Bledsoe's Revenge, Part 2
Brady's divorce and low NFL draft ranking were always the subject of ridicule. Bledsoe knocked down both on one throw.
“Look, buddy, you've got more rings than I have,” Bledsoe said. “But I've experienced some things you'll never experience, which is feeling like the No. 1 overall pick in the NFL draft and my 28th wedding anniversary. That was yesterday.”
Gronk is still under attack
Rob Gronkowski was the second most popular target of jokes Sunday night after Brady. Most of the wise opinions focused on Gronk's intelligence. The best of them was by comedian Nikki Glaser, who probably had the best material on the show.
“Tom lost $30 million in virtual currency. How did you fall for that, Tom?” Glaser said, adding, “Even Gronk said, 'We know it's not real money.' That's what it felt like,” he said.
Gronk got his turn on stage and took shots against Brady, Hart, Belichick and Edelman. He shared shots with Brady and Belichick, then, of course, spiked the shot glass to end the set.
Before that, there was another jaw-dropping moment that featured a series of shots. Patriots owner Robert Kraft joined Belichick on stage, hailing him as “the greatest coach in the history of the game” and exchanging shots with his former head coach.
Nearing the end, after spending more than three hours, Brady was introduced by a surprise guest: Peyton Manning, his biggest NFL rival.
“It's great to see the greatest coach in NFL history, Bill Belichick, here,” Manning said. “For those who don't know, Coach is Eli and my 'Monday I'm planning to do some work on Night Football.” Year.
“I have to say, it's going to be great. Eli and I are very excited. And it's going to give Coach Belichick something he hasn't had in a while. It's going to give him respect.” It’s a chance to be with a quarterback who does.”
Brady gets the last word.
Finally, it was Brady's turn. And he immediately turned to Manning.
“I know you live in Denver sometimes,” Brady said. “And sometimes you live in Louisiana, but you always live in my shadow.”
He wasn't finished yet.
“When I heard there was a slow white Bronco coming down the 405 and coming here tonight, I thought I might actually get to see a real football legend,” Brady continued.
He addressed almost everyone on stage, including Gronkowski and Moss. He reserved one of the edgiest jokes of the night for Bledsoe.
“Like the rest of America, I will always remember where I was on that fateful day in September 2001 when those two jets tragically collided with Drew Bledsoe,” Brady said. said.
He had a message for New York Giants fans and Eli Manning, who he lost to twice in the Super Bowl.
“Fuck Eli, fuck you too. Twice.”
He also gave a sneaky nod to Roger Goodell and Deflategate.
“The NFL spent $20 million and I was 'generally' aware that someone could have deflated my football, which was 'more likely' than not.” It turns out. If you gave me 20 million, I could have just said I did it. ”
And he ended with a joke at Belichick's expense.
“You're a true coaching genius,” Brady said. “I had to choose between Drew Bledsoe, who is old, injured, and overpaid, and a young, healthy, minimum-wage superstar. I gave that decision to a shitty coach at a shitty high school in Foxboro. I could have gotten it…
“I'm curious because I've been out of the game for a while. How many Super Bowl rings have you won since I left? Maybe it's not just on the sidelines. When you go to the Indy 500. , I don't ask winning drivers, 'Hey, who put gas in your car?'
He then left the stage, telling the critics to take off his number and giving the audience a second-flight.
Brady compiled a 251-82 regular season record and a 35-13 postseason record during his 23-year NFL career. Whether he wins or loses more depends on how funny the audience found those jokes. Whether those viewers won or lost watching The Greatest Roast of All Time is another question worth asking.
