Cori Close challenges you.
If you take your child to UCLA's pregame clinic, don't get hung up on the idea that they'll play basketball there someday. At least not yet. Instead, notice the smile on her face as she works with the women's basketball staff and players and soaks in the energy of game day.
“This hour-and-a-half clinic is not that important,” said Close, the Bruins women's basketball head coach. “The most important thing is that her daughter is excited about the game and leaves with a great experience with her friends.”
When some girls get older and stick to the game, the smiles disappear. Close feels the burden is on their parents' shoulders, the pressure to win and perform to justify the huge investment their parents have put into their careers.
“Everything has been going in the direction of 'get a scholarship and go to college,'” Close told USA TODAY Sports. And then they get to us, and when they should be the most joyful, the most free, the best in their habits, they're completely burnt out. ”
Repairing them is like peeling “a wounded onion,” Close said. The wounds are deep, emotional, physical, and spiritual. Even if a player plays with conviction, it takes time to heal.
Beneath these layers of every young athlete is the foundation of their sporting outlook. It is shaped by the power of parents, coaches, and peers in youth sports experiences.
These forces drive many kids far, long before they reach Crows or their high school coach.
“I think there's both sides of me,” Close says. “I see the good side of it, gearing up to the wind. And I also see the loaded, pressured, performance-oriented side, and it's sad to see that.”
As she watches the No. 8 Bruins begin their quest to advance to the NCAA Tournament this week, she says they should remember that results aren't everything. It will be about the journey her team shares.
Indeed, Crows is fired up for victory. “When we lost to the University of Southern California in the semifinals, it took me a few days to recover,” she says, but she constantly fights her urge to view sports as a series of results.
Instead, she is acting on the lessons she learned from John Wooden. That's not her problem. The late UCLA men's basketball coach knew it was important for everyone – coaches, players, and even parents – to work together as her one unit to create a life-changing experience.
Close will share lessons learned from 50 years of playing and coaching the sport to help create that experience for athletes.
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1. “True Change-Makers”: Know that John Wooden Believes in You When Mentoring Children
It's not about you, it starts with you. Close began his college coaching career in 1994 and 1995, listening to the legendary coach's guidance as a member of UCLA's staff and in Wooden's study. This experience changed her life, but it also helped her understand that there are many others who have gone through similar experiences.
“Coach Wooden taught me that some of the best culture builders, teachers of the game, and coaches are at the youth level,” Close says. “We may get more interviews, but these are the real change-makers.”
Sometimes the best role models are people whose names others don't know. Steve Cain, the boys basketball coach at Milpitas High School in the San Francisco Bay Area, lived up the street from the Crows. When she dribbled near his house, he told her to put her elbow under the ball or bounce it harder.
Future WNBA coach Julie Plank, then an assistant coach at Stanford University, pulled her aside at a college camp when others told her she was too short, too slow. You can do it.''
And her father, Don Close, was a former small-college football player who believed in the educational power of sports. Don Close taught academic subjects at Milpitas, teaching character development, leadership, and self-esteem to his team, Cori, and their friends.
“I think he was a father to a girl before he really understood what it was,” she says.
Her UCLA women's basketball team is rooted in the soccer experience built by her father.
“Every year when we play Stanford, a few guys from my youth soccer team come,” Close, 52, says. “It's not a team. My father taught his children lessons and made them feel loved unconditionally. And they still come back. In fact, two of them spoke at my father's memorial service. I did it.”
“It wasn’t about the football team, it was about football.”
2. “Get out of the pity pond”: See adversity as an opportunity.
Like his daughter, Don Close was a fierce competitor who wanted to do everything he could to win. But losing was never the cause for him. It was about how she could use that to her advantage.
How can we overcome this and grow?
How can I be a better teammate?
How can I become a better leader?
These were the kinds of questions Close asked her father when she was a senior guard at the University of California, Santa Barbara, when her team finished the season 27-5 despite going 0-6.
“The late (North Carolina State University women's basketball) coach (Kay) Yo used to say, 'You can shine your feet in a poor pond, but you can't swim laps.'” And the reality is, I was swimming laps and laps, and I think he was like, 'Get out of the pity pond and change things,'” she says. “Some of the other things you can't control.''
His words reminded Close of his six freshman teammates.
“Instead of saying, 'They're such a pain to me,' think, 'How can I serve them better?'” she says. How can we make their job easier? How can we do it better? ” It’s like the Schein theory, right? The more you shine and help others shine, the more you actually shine. ”
3. “Banners hang in the gym, dust gathers in the ring.” Create your own story
Close served as associate women's head coach at the University of California, Santa Barbara and Florida State University before taking over as head coach at UCLA in 2011.
When she first arrived at Westwood, she asked 10 alumni of the men's basketball team and 10 alumni of the women's basketball team what they wanted the school to offer but didn't. She heard about financial planning and mental health tools, not basketball.
Another former player, John Vallely, sought out Close to share the deep strength of Wooden's teachings and the love that emanated from them. He credited his coach with helping him maintain a long-lasting marriage, start several businesses, beat cancer multiple times and survive the death of his young daughter.
He did not mention to Close that he was the starting point guard on two of Wooden's national championship teams.
“I thought, 'This is it,'” Close says. “How many John Valerie stories can we make? That doesn't detract from competitive excellence at all. In fact, perhaps that's exactly what guided and equipped it.”
A few years after Crouse became head coach, Joshua Medcalf, UCLA's director of mental conditioning at the time, welcomed her team to Pauley Pavilion's center court.
“I wish I could take part in that banner-raising ceremony,” he told the players. “I hope your habits are exactly that, but there are banners in the gym.
“That ring ceremony would be great because of the character it took to earn it, but the ring just sits in a trophy case and gathers dust.
“After these four years, the only thing that will remain with you for the rest of your life is who you will become and who you will influence.”
When Close told me that story, I remembered why I had never won an outright championship in my 10 years as a youth sports coach. But sometimes I pull notes from my parents out of my desk drawer. It was focused on my faith in his son, not our winning season.
Coach Steve details: What young athletes can learn from the legendary John Wooden
4. “Be a good listener.” Everyone is important on the journey (especially parents)
As we all know, other parents can be a problem in youth sports. Close observes their behavior in the stands at AAU games and listens closely to what they say in their conversations. It's all part of her recruitment process.
They are also keeping an eye on her. One UCLA parent who didn't like what the coach said at the press conference requested a Zoom conversation, which Close agreed to the next day.
“I'm a strong believer that performance equals potential minus interference,” she says. “And sometimes when the lines of communication aren't open, that can get in the way for kids, because they're caught in the middle of an unsolvable solution. .”
About a year ago, Close copied the habits of University of South Carolina coach Dawn Staley. She established semi-regular Zoom calls with players' parents. She tells them about her thoughts on her growth. She said I could call her about her playtime. And she tells them to be prepared for her own answer.
“You have to be prepared for the realities and truths that lead to those decisions,” she says.
Close ultimately makes decisions for the team, just like you, your kids' coach. But she says it's less important to her that she's right than that everyone feels heard.
“It's not that the standards need to change,” she says. “But the way I can serve them is by being a good listener.”
5. “This is not Kumbaya or sorority” Embrace sports for joy and struggle
UCLA will be making its eighth NCAA Tournament appearance under Close. His appearances include five appearances in the Elite Eight and Sweet 16. When a loss occurs, it is deeply felt.
On Jan. 28, when his team was upset at home by Washington State, Close took a moment to compose himself before his opening remarks.
“Everyone else on the outside will be judged on the final score,” she began, her voice shaking. “But for me it wouldn't measure up that way. You don't know what Kiki and the other teammates showed, what they showed from within.”
Her Bruins team, hit by injuries and illness and without leading scorer Lauren Betts, nearly came from behind to win after trailing by 20 points.
“They decided in advance that they were going to give everything and end up empty-handed for each other,” Close said. “And there's no question they did that.”
At one point, when Close couldn't get the words out, guard Kike Rice, who was sitting next to him, responded, “Okay,” and answered a question.
“As always, you covered for me,” Close said with a smile.
In our interview, Close recalled a conversation he had with his coach the day after winning the national championship. There seemed to be a similar lack of emotion.
“How are you feeling?” asked Close.
“I have some space,” the coach answered.
Crows was surprised. This was supposed to be the pinnacle.
“I think a results-oriented mindset is really empty,” she says.
She realized that the joy of sports and the growth that comes from it goes beyond results alone. It can also involve conflict.
“I'm not always talking about just having fun; “It's not Kumbaya or sorority. It's the real conflict when you miss your first four shots, when the referee makes a bad decision, when you disagree with the coach or when you have a problem. It’s healthy to have that,” Close says. Skills are difficult to acquire. Those are really healthy fights.
“But I also want there to be great joy, and joy is not dependent on your circumstances. Joy is a choice, a skill, and something deeper.”
And even if you lose it, you can still find it.
Steve Borelli, aka Coach Steve, has been an editor and writer for USA TODAY since 1999. He coached his two sons' baseball and basketball teams for 10 years. He and his wife Colleen are now high school and middle school sports parents. His column appears weekly. Click here for past columns.
Have a question you'd like Coach Steve to answer in a column? Email him sborelli@usatoday.com
