Dear Abby: I'm a teacher. I have a young son and I love when he goes away for school holidays and we spend the summer together. I feel I have the best of both worlds. I recently married a woman who is 14 years younger and is also a teacher. Her wife hates that profession. She doesn't find it exciting or admirable. Her opinions about education hurt my feelings. Because I believe it is a noble profession and one that will give me quality time with my son.
My wife decided to join the police force. It didn't just happen. We've been discussing it for the past five years. I told her that's not the life I want. I worked hard to reach my life goal of starting a family and taking summer vacations with my son. I was honest with her from the beginning. She often says that she also wants time with her family and that she won't join the police force. Then a few days later she brought it up again.
We've only been married for six months, but I already regret it. I didn't get married to be alone all the time or take vacations without a spouse. I love her but she feels betrayed and she was lied to. Also, she doesn't think she would be a good cop. She's just into cop shows and she thinks it's going to happen. I think she will quit within a year or two of her wonderful career. I feel that our biggest challenge is her lack of experience. what do i do? — Concerned Wife/Mother in Florida
Dear Wife/Mom: Please calm down. Even if your wife applies, there is no guarantee that she will be accepted into law enforcement in a managerial capacity or above. A session with a certified marriage and family therapist may help the two of you communicate better.
It seems like everyone has very different ideas about what a happy marriage is. Since a compromise cannot be reached and the marriage is very short, it may be better for both of you to break up in good faith.
***
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Dear Abby, contact: www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
