We love them immeasurably and do our best every day to support, listen and nurture them. Both my children are struggling because I feel like such a failure. Can you help me put this together better? How did I mess up the one very important thing I should have done?
Mom's mistakes: Stop, you didn't “fail”.
Children around the world are going through a very difficult time right now. Depression and anxiety have increased significantly, stress has increased, mental health resources are under strain, and schools are overburdened, underfunded, and understaffed.
You gave the kids the help they needed! you are working. Whether these symptoms are an isolated episode or the beginning of a chronic illness, listening, supporting and nurturing them is what they need as they learn how to cope with these symptoms. They are often genetic, and no amount of motherhood magic could have preempted them. (And no, your genes aren't your fault either.) Reflect on your choice to learn. Absolutely, but don't blame yourself. meaningless.
Careful reconfiguration may also help. It's a form of shaming to declare yourself a “failure” just because your child has a mental health diagnosis. It's as if such a diagnosis is so terrible that a good parent would never let it happen and their child would never be able to thrive with this disease. they. the struggle is universal. How people deal with challenges determines their health, happiness, and success. Including you, as a parent, who is struggling to meet your child's needs.
· In the year 2000, meaning before 9/11 and all the ways it changed the world, ubiquitous cell phones, social media, pandemics, etc., the American Psychological Association found that the average child was mentally ill in the 1950s. They found that the children had more anxiety than children receiving medical treatment.
please think about it. The level of stress that required psychiatric treatment in childhood in 1950 was less than the stress that everyone considered a “normal” part of childhood in 2000. And since then, the situation has become even more stressful for the children.
Honestly, you should be proud of yourself for getting your child into treatment. That's good parenting.
· I agree with Carolyn. You are not a failed mother, you are a successful mother. I asked the children to help me. Would you consider yourself a failure if you replaced anxiety or depression as a diagnosis with kidney disease or heart murmur? Mental health is one of her categories of health concerns.
· I had to learn how to overcome my own depression and anxiety and my mother's depression and anxiety about my depression and anxiety. Reassuring her only adds to the anxiety I have to deal with. Do your best to avoid adding to their burdens with your own. Therapy is good for everyone.
· Watching my children struggle is the hardest thing I've ever experienced and I keep asking myself, but what are the pediatricians, therapists, psychiatrists, school supports? I feel good about assembling a team of experts like you. You may want to reach out to your friends because you think more of them are in the same situation as you than you know. We live in difficult times.
· Don't think it's your fault. At least until the kids start blaming you. That's its own special hell. You do not need to enter it yourself.
